Impossible To Leave

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.”
- Maya Angelou

When it came time to make the big decision, to stay or to go, I found it physically impossible to go. I could not leave Flagstaff, Arizona. Leaving Arizona would mean leaving natural gorgeousness, all of the explorations I had yet to experience and a great town supportive of the arts. In feeling this sense of potential loss, I knew Flagstaff’s presence in my life had grown important and indispensable to the point where I decided that I must tell people; “Yes, Arizona is my home,” for here is where I stopped longing.

What made it physically impossible for me to leave Flagstaff was when I imagined my life without San Francisco Peaks, without big imaginative skies, without omnipresent sunshine or the sweet smell of pine. All of these things bring me limitless comfort, like a best friend, after a hard day’s of school and work. This comfort I appreciate most on the evenings before the sun has completely set, when I ride my bike home from work, tired in body and mind. The first few moments of my ride home I think about how tired I am and dread all of the pedaling I have to do, but then something amazing happens, I look up. When I look up I see something so much bigger than myself, I see pink clouds floating down on the mountains, getting ready for bed, or I see the blue and gray remnants of a rainstorm, whatever it is I see it readily puts life back into my mind and body.

When I lived in Philadelphia, catching a glimpse of the skyline, especially at night, would sometimes have this same rejuvenating affect on me. I found, however, that it was only excitement I felt when seeing a big city all lit up like that. Therefore, it was not a lasting feeling. Arizona’s vistas excited me at first also, but the reason its landscape has not blended into the background of my consciousness like that of Philadelphia is because Arizona’s landscape is alive. I feel a deep love for the diverse living environment that engulfs Arizona, deeper than I could ever feel for lifeless buildings or architecture.

Arizona’s landscape is not exclusively good for looking at; it also begs to be explored. The question people often ask upon learning I live in Flagstaff is, “Isn’t there anything to do up there?” I guess since there is no venue for a Red Hot Chile Peppers concert, some think Flagstaff is a small town subject to small town boredom. While I cannot say on behalf of all Arizonans, especially not the high school population, that Flagstaff is not boring; I can personally attest that Flagstaff is anything but boring. In fact, Flagstaff becomes bigger, more interesting and multifarious to me every day, especially when I go somewhere new.

For instance, imagine my shock when, after having lived and traveled around in Flagstaff for many months, I discovered a few minutes away an underground cave almost a mile long. The cave is actually a lava tube formed millions of years ago. It was produced by a lava flow that cooled from the outside in allowing the lava inside the body of the flow to remain fluid, kind of like jelly in the center of a doughnut. In effect, when the eruptions stopped and there was no more lava coming, an empty tube-like structure was left behind. On a hot and sticky day when I descended into the refreshing 40-degree cave, I wondered what in the world was I doing all those months that I missed this!

It has now been over a year that I have lived in Flagstaff and I have yet to experience all of its surrounding destinations such as, Wutpaki National Monument, Montezuma Castle and the Grand Canyon. I have actually made it to those three places, but to think about how many more well-known and lesser-known places I have not been to makes me wonder how anyone could think there is nothing to do “up there.” I am not alone in this sentiment. Roger Clyne, a famous Arizonan musician dubbed the “Gringo Bandito,” has been quoted in Flagstaff Live Newspaper saying, “I love Northern Arizona...You could spend a lifetime discovering everything up there. I love how diverse it is, I love the mix of cultures...You've got the Grand Canyon, the highest point in Arizona, 12,000 and some change, Moenkopi, Navajo land, Sedona, everything. I think it's just amazing.”

I suppose that if one does not enjoy being outdoors, or has not yet realized they enjoy the outdoors, all of the things I have mentioned thus far would confirm that Flagstaff is indeed boring. I must mention, therefore, the urban aspects of Flagstaff. The downtown area, though small, is a place always teeming with activity. There are so many festivals, celebrating everything from books to beer to film, that having a festival in town is almost more commonplace than not having a festival. Besides festivals a diapason of great live music to can be found all over town. Any given night there could be a Native American hip-hop group performing at the Orpheum Theater and on the same block, a Surf Rock band will be playing at Charlie’s.

In addition, as do other many other cities in America, Flagstaff has a first Friday art walk where local artists display their work all across the city. In an article also in Flagstaff Live, Julie Roller, the organizer for Flagstaff Open Studios, put it well when she said, “You know the art community here in Flagstaff... there's amazing talent, a lot of depth and a lot of passion.”

Inspiring scenery, exploration and culture are not what drew me to Flagstaff primarily, but they are what make it impossible for me and any other adventurous person that may move here, to leave. Therefore, if Maya Angelo is right and every human being longs to be at home wherever they find themselves, one who finds them self in Flagstaff, Arizona is sure to be at home.